...and not be freaked out by it's accuracy. You can see how much I freaked out, here.
...and have the name 'Somerset' in the address, so that it will be from one Somerset to another. Blog post is here.
...by managing to beat last year's perfect Baileys cheesecake.
...and try not to choke on the sulphuric smell on White Island, NZ.
...complete with real flowers and plants. All sorts of important documents had to be signed to confirm that we would be good little hobbitses and not post photos online. Otherwise we would be sentenced to the depths of Mt Doom!
...given that this is not too far from where I was brought up and I would go past it EVERY time I would come home from London, I only stopped here a few years ago.
...for a friend's 21st a few years ago. Absinthe induced mess is a must.
...and put your feet in Forrest Gump's trainers. After all, life is like a box of chocolates...
...preferably in the summer of '12. Preferably if they're American, and are absolutely transfixed with everything English.
...and get a high five off of him. Like I did. At Glastonbury.
...but don't stand at the barrier with 145,000 people behind you. Your feet don't touch the floor, and your ribs get bruised. Glastonbury 2010.
...a direct message that no other tweep can see totally counts. Thank you Zak Bagans for telling me that you don't like apples.
...she runs the world. Glastonbury 2011 with barrier action.
...photos are a no no. The wormies don't like it. Waitomo, NZ.
...officially making me the coolest ginger in the world. Ron Weasley included.
...over and over and over again. And then one more for added luck in June 2013.
...and try not to smudge it EVERY time you get one.
...I'd been one for 18 years, but I was desperate for another niece/nephew. Fortunately, my brother granted me this wish, and in October 2012, my nephew was brought into this world.
...and the pastry must be made from scratch. Mummy Harlow gives wonderful pastry making lessons.
...because this place is REAL, and I'm patiently waiting for Hogwarts letter to arrive in the post.
...it was Halloween and I was young & stupid. This is not an excuse. I'm not proud of myself.
...or two. Or three. And get completely sozzled on New Zealand wine.
...it's big...and red...and rock like.
...and try not to be disappointed when you do.
...and climb all over them. That's ok, isn't it?
...easily accomplished but it will always be a never-ending quest in my life.
...it's an annual thing. Nothing tastes as good as free.
...is there an occasion other than weddings where this is done?
...and leave your heart there.
...they really do have more fun...than gingers anyway.
...by taking a firm stand against the government in increasing the tuition fees. It was a complete fail but at least it was a riot free zone.
...and then hide it from your parents for a year and a half.
...and be accused of carrying a bomb at Cairo airport.
... because standing on either side of the Tropic of Capricorn totally counts.
...and be completely surprised by how tiny the Mona Lisa is.
...to drink tea and eat duck's brain.
...and not have your Dad talk to you for 3 days.
...every year since I was a baby, with Graceland blasting through the stereo.
...at Australia Zoo where they're bigger posers than Kim Kardashian.
...and try not to look out of breath climbing the steep steps.
...even if it's just a coin purse because that's all you can afford.
...and endure 26 hour bus journeys...and get your hand trapped between elevator doors...and spend the night on the streets when the hostel closes before you arrive.
...for my Dad's 60th. Getting him to leave the house was like trying to nail jelly to the wall.
...avec ma mere.
...having an Uncle live there helps. A lot.
...and not send food flying across the table.
...and look like Tom Cruise in Top Gun or Cocktail.
...without asking them where they serve breakfast.
...Ninety Mile Beach, NZ but not at 90 mph.
...and release the Cadbury's waterfall.
...for 2 months around New Zealand with Mummy Harlow, chasing after the England rugby boys. Heaven.
...and try and jump by yourself and *ahem* not asked to be pushed.
...at Glastonbury. Drunk.
...because it is the ultimate freedom.
...and cling to the side as if your life depended on it.
...for your 18th birthday.
...and not have your things stolen but be in awe of the people, their accents and their country.
...and make the fourth visit a permanent one.
...and feed it milk...and watch it try and chew your trainer at the wonderful Ukutula Lodge, SA.
...and drive Steve Irwin's jeep.
...and be completely surprised by how hot it actually is.
...it isn't golden....and it doesn't have any gates.
...and stand by and watch whilst they nibble your friend's bottom.
...and see the Big Five...in 10 hours. Better than what some people achieve in a lifetime.
...in their natural environment, and then have your friend throw up.